“At first they ignore you”
Then they laugh at you
Then they fight with you
Then you win” -Gandhi
I love reverse motivation.. My parents are physicians, they only know that becoming a doctor is the way to go for a good Indian girl in America to succeed. That’s their reality. Its not mine. So time and time again, I hear their doubts of my business success: are you sure? Be financially focused. Or the friend from Harvard say: are you scared?
You know the situation where your friend, or your parents, or a teacher doubts something that you believe you can do. They doubt you can start a company after school or travel to india alone or become an author or go to a top school. They don’t believe it is true. The real truth is that its bogus. What they say is a reflection of what story they believe, NOT your reality.
But instead of reacting to the nay-sayers with revenge, blame, or negative energy, I call it reverse motivation.
I don’t believe in proving ourselves to the nay-sayers, I think that is all driven from the ego. But I do believe in serving ourselves, I think that is driven from the heart. And our hearts defines where we need to be. Reverse motivation can be an energizing force when held carefully. Its not something to tread quickly on, but if you stop and reassess: why are they saying what they are saying? What in THEIR worldview is making them say this, you usually understand.
I use to respond and say: “they just don’t get it”, yet I realized the truth is really: they’re in the learning process and they are at this stage. And what I can do is to meet people where they are, not try to change them—and stay reverse motivated as I grow.
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