Breaking up is part of leading

Breaking up is never easy, with a friend, colleague, partner, project, or company. You lose a part of you that became a new shared story with another person, whether it be a love relationship, a new business venture, a project team at your company or a long-time friendship. But breaking up isn't just about a relationship with another person, it’s a breakup with how you see yourself in the world.

The hard truth is that stepping into leadership is also about breaking up many times over and over. Its about breaking up with your old patterns of behavior, shedding relationships that don’t serve your new self, and making anew with the values and goals that you have.

So here’s my two cents on breaking up:

1)   Trust your gut: Your reactions and how you feel will play a major role in when you know you need to break up. Don’t hide it, make it noticeable to yourself.

2)   See it as a learning experience: Remember, everything is about learning and what you take from it. Don’t harp on the past, focused on what your key lessons are for the future.

3)   Stand up for yourself: Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. Be confident about what you feel and use this as a powerful agent to grow.

4)   Let yourself move through the feelings: There will be negative feelings in any breakup and there is will be freeing feelings, but the truth is you’ll move much faster through the challenges and pain when you address rather than ignore them.

5)   Move through fear: Remember you can move through fear of the new, but don’t let fear shape you or change you.

Do you have a breaking up story that led you to step into your leadership? Share more with us and let us know what it led to.