To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. – Eleanor Roosevelt
Do you rely on your head or your heart to build relationships?
Archives for April 2013
10 Tips to Become the Most Successful Person You Know
April 25, 2013 by · 5 Comments
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Here are 10 tips to become the most successful person you know.
1. When facing any change, understand what is at stake. Change gets made when we see what on the table matters and make real tradeoffs. We evaluate the tradeoffs rather than making rushed decisions.
2. Focus on deepening your insight, rather than gathering information. You can watch a lot of reality TV or read 3 thoughtful books –you choose. Deepening insight in a one hour phone call can be much more impactful than 10 hours of internet research. Figure out how to get the insight you really need.
3. Know Your Rhythm. Know what "rhythms" work best for you. Are you a morning or night person? When do you do your best work? Find ways to use your energy more effectively.
4. Be Politically Saavy. Recognize, understand and leverage the centers of influence and power within your environment. Always see big picture and integrate this knowledge into your decision-making.
5. Find Champions that will change your life. Build and maintain a rich network of mutually valued relationships that provide opportunities for mentorship, sponsorship and community as you advance.
6. Think of strategy as a hypothesis rather than a prediction. Think of strategy as a verb, not a noun. We never start with a plan and end with the same plan. When we dive in, we often discover new ways of thinking. Strategy is about about adapting and learning from real experiences.
7. Don't wait for a "perfect answer." Start with what you know and work your way to a solution.
8. Build an Game Plan in 3 month increments. Every few months, get committed to achieving new clearly defined outcomes and acting with purpose in order to produce results that are meaningful and measurable.
9. Find Sanctuaries that you use to decompress. Find places of rest to rejuvenate. For me it's the dance floor, home, and reading a book. What are yours?
10. Share your story. By telling others how you came to be who you are, you create space to connect with listeners, increase your visibility and move people to act. Never hold back from sharing your story with anyone you seek to build a relationship with.
I truly hope these 10 success tips have been valuable to you. And that I’ve been of service. Your success and impact in life is what we need most. Please protect it and make it happen.
Any other tips made you successful? Please share below!
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MONDAY INSPIRATION: Warren Buffet
April 22, 2013 by · 1 Comment
When I go to my office every morning, I feel like I’m going to the Sistine Chapel to paint. – Warren Buffet
Bottom line: your attitude can make a big difference. Case in point: Dan Kerpen, CEO of Likeable Local, who recently wrote about his experience of giving himself a promotion on the 2nd day of selling Crunch 'n Munch. I highly recommend reading the article here on LinkedIn.
The Answer That Changes Everything
April 18, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
The answer that changes everything is..
I don't know.
It's the I don't know which leads to believing that you don't have all the answers, that you can't solve all the problems alone, that you might not know what to do. This answer lets you realize that you can ask for help and you have more to learn (or unlearn).
This is the answer that lets you start asking the more important questions like:
Who can help us solve this problem? How can we collaborate with them?
Where can we go to better think through this problem? What should we be reading, seeing, or attending?
What do we need in order to solve this problem? What skills or resources can we use?
Remember you don't need all the answers you just need the guts to say I don't know in order to create a space to generate real solutions.
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What the Boston Marathon taught me
April 16, 2013 by · 1 Comment
I have lived in Boston for 4 years (minus my summers). For much of it, I didn't treat Boston like home. It was a place where I went to school, studied, researched, and just more recently moved permanently with my husband less than two months ago.
But today changed all that. In the hours that have passed since the explosions (a 15 minute walk from my home), my fellow Bostonians have responded with offers of housing, donations of blood, large supplies of food, and dedicated medical care. I am so deeply humbled by the connectedness of Boston right now–from opening homes to guests using Google Docs to people searches on People Finder to many donating blood (after running a marathon) or offering whatever they can to victims and families. This is #courage. The whole country has responded with prayers, volunteers, and contributions.
I am also watching how we are using our Connectional Intelligence powerfully in this disaster. Cell phones in Back Bay were shut off, trains stopped and airports closed. So instead, the threads on Facebook and Twitter guided us. Google Docs gave many visiting marathon runners a home. Google People Finder allowed us to find one another. YouTube gave us a glimpse of what was really happening on Boylston St. The world has changed and we have the capacity to move faster to help one another through it all.
I feel terribly sad for our loss but also immensely proud of our human spirit and the connectedness that we have to come together in times like this and beyond. No matter how oppressive the darkness, the light in people always shines through. For more light, here are a few of the many stories of kindness in Boston. I love this city.
MONDAY INSPIRATION: James A. Froude
April 15, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
Experience teaches slowly and at the cost of mistakes.
When was the last time you took on a new experience at the risk of making a mistake? Odds are you learned more faster. What's one thing you can try this week? Share your answer in the comments below.
12 Things Great Leaders Always Do
April 11, 2013 by · 2 Comments
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
We all know them. That one person who is not just a great leader, but who also makes a lasting impact. We remember them, follow them, and reference their thinking long after our connection with them is over.
What is it that makes such a great leader? What do they have that others don't? I've been lucky to meet many great leaders and discovered they all share these twelve characteristics.
So, here are 12 things YOU can do to become a great leader:
1. Pick your fights. Don’t waste your resources. Its important to stand up for your ideals, but don’t keep fighting when its draining you and it doesn't really matter.
2. Work with exceptional people. Everything is about benchmarking. If you bring a great group of people together, they will even become better by the benchmark they have within the group.
3. Don't let the world beat you down. The best characteristics of a leader are being optimistic and naive.
4. Decide quickly. A bad decision is better than no decision. We learn by doing, instead of inaction.
5. When asked for advice, sometimes the best advice is to not to give any advice. Usually when others ask for your advice, they already know the solution, but they just need a bit of confidence or some coaching to get there.
6. Focus on the things you can control. Those who focus on the things they cannot control become cynical. Choose what you focus on by what you can control.
7. Be vulnerable. In a recent TED Talk, shame researcher Brene Brown shares that vulnerability is our ability to tell our true story and not to fear rejection. Moreover, it’s the understanding of ourselves as imperfect that makes us brave. Vulnerability enables connection more than anything else.
8. Choose curiosity over confidence anyday. Live with a questioning mind and you'll never believe where you go.
9. Accept that you can do everything perfect and fail and you can everything wrong and succeed. Life isn't fair, it's the plain truth, some get lucky and some don't. It's up to us to let the journey guide us..and learn from it.
10. When looking for great people, choose hunger and excitement over experience. Never choose people who think they are 'doing you a favor.' Find people who are excited to work with you.
11. Don't wait to ask, to test and incubate new ideas. Read Why Asking is your #1 Strategy for Success for more.
12. Don’t Ask for a No. When you think something is the right thing to do, just do it. You don't need approval from anybody, just you.
Which of these traits are most important to you?
Monday Inspiration: Aristotle
April 8, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
What's one thing you can do today to be happy?
Why Asking can be your #1 Strategy for Success
April 3, 2013 by · 2 Comments
When I first launched my business, the first month was super tough. I was trying to build partnerships and had just graduated from Harvard and MIT. People still saw me as a student, not as a full fledged professional.
When I asked for referrals and leads from thought leaders and friends, I got some great intros but I also found many hesitant without knowing exactly what I had to offer. I totally get it, it takes time for referrals to really happen.
Instead of waiting on others, I had to show what I offered first myself. I decided to approach some of my dream clients on my own-I approached over ten Fortune 500 executives, and almost every single one responded and followed up with me. Some led to full fledged projects, others led to just a phone chat to stay in touch. The truth is that: I learned more by reaching out than stepping back. I didn’t wait till a friend told me I was ready or introduced me.
We live in a world where it's easy to be fearful to ask for ways to help. Obviously we must be prepared, informed and ready to be thoughtful about our ask. The same situation occurs all the time in many areas, when we wait to get in touch, to reach out, to CONNECT for projects, idea generation, brainstorms, campaigns or startups.
We must connect, and by connecting we ignite change and prosper over the long term. This is the key principle in my own work on connectional intelligence as the key agent to generating breakthrough capacity in organizations and the world. Asking can be the #1 Strategy for Success for every leader of the future.
Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to on your own? First, reflect on WHY you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting. You NEVER know what it could lead to. And let me know what happens!
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