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It takes one cancellation, one schedule change, one forgotten reply, and only one disappointment to change others' perceptions of you as a leader. This is a bold statement, but it's true!

The world that we live in is fast-paced and crazy competitive. People do not have the time to spend thinking through why somebody disappointed them. Rather, all they can afford to process is how that disappointment felt. The reasons behind the experienced disappointment is irrelevant.

Take a look at the top 5 reasons why real leaders say NO:

1. The only way to avoid letting others down is to say no proactively.  At first, this can seem unnatural as leaders typically enjoy their position of power. However, always saying "Yes, I can do that for you," is not sustainable.  Often times, a definite no can lend itself to increased focus and clearer understanding for the larger group. This choice may not be understood at the time but will make sense to them later.

2. True leaders understand the weight of their words. If they commit to doing something, then they know it is important to do it. Whatever they said they were going to do is unimportant because the disappointment that people feel when something doesn’t get done can be irrationally understood.  If you commit to doing something as menial as picking up the donuts, then you better be ready to make a Dunkin’ run, or somebody at work will feel disappointed.

3. Rationalization can be so strong that you reason your way out of doing something. You might feel certain that you absolutely cannot be disappointing anybody by not doing what you said you were going to do. This is a danger zone.  You will never be able to fully know whether or not you've disappointed somebody. Most of the time you will never be alerted to the facts. The only way to avoid disappointing people is to do what you say you are going to do and leaders have a firm grasp on this reality.

4. By saying no in an open and honest manner, you can avoid the common pitfall of over-committing and under-delivering.  Sure you’ve heard this saying before and know there is a level of truth to it. How often have you over-committed and as a result, have felt that you were forced to under-deliver?  Remind yourself of this common advice and be transparent with others about your other commitments, so they understand why you cannot say yes.  Temporary disappointment up front will subside quickly.

5. Planning one’s time wisely is essential to being successful as a leader in any forum.  Once you have learned the art of saying no, it gets a whole lot easier to manage your day to day activities.  A job doing is worth doing well. No better way to remember that than to take a look at where your time is being spent and make a contentious decision to scrap what you can.  Your calendar will thank you later.

Sure, doing what you say you are going to do seems easy enough, except that it's not. The most difficult task real leaders face is knowing when and how to say no as it takes strength, thoughtfulness, and experience to do it.  As you are working through the growing pains of saying no more often, remind yourself of the reasons why you are doing so, and you’ll be much more inclined to continue.

Guest Post by April Anderson. April is a researcher at Erica Dhawan Group and currently a MBA candidate at Baruch College in Organizational Psychology with a passion for women & leadership, social enterprise, and management development theory.  Find April here.